i didn't mention last week that pete left for the road on thursday. it will be a whole 24 days till we see him again. you guys, that is long. a very long time. this will be the longest we have been apart since before we were married. and now you add a baby to this and it just makes it so much harder.
i feel sad for him. i know he misses me so much but i can't imagine the level he must feel by missing bennet. it already has been hard on him and its only been a couple days.
i am going to try really hard to not feel sorry for myself. yes being alone with bennet caring for her for 24/7 for 24 days is going to be hard and tiring. i love being her momma and doing all the things that goes along with that but then you add in the errands, the laundry, the cleaning, taking out the trash...doing all that on top of momma duties is tough. yes i want pete here with me to help with all of this but more importantly i want him here for cuddles, dadda play time, eating dinner together, etc. all the special moments that are simple everyday life events. it is gonna be lonely. it is already lonely.
i deal all the time with jealousy that other people don't ever have to have their spouse away from them. it is hard to not feel all those emotions. i just hope and pray that i can put all that aside and focus on bennet. i hope i stay patient, have energy to keep up with her. and i hope i don't show her how lonely i am because i have her with me and she is the best company. as much as i can feel sorry for myself and take that out on pete, i have to remember how hard this is on him too. we both are not phone people and both get annoyed easily with it being our primary communication. have i mentioned this is gonna be hard.
please pray for us. i really hope it goes by fast.
oh also, bennet has a cold and is teething so already i feel worn out by the past few days. hopefully it passes soon. i feel so sorry for my stopped up little snotty nose baby. she is so sweet even when she is feeling down.
~m
3 comments:
Hoping the time goes fast for you! I can't imagine how hard that must be, especially with a baby. My fiance and I have days where we totally miss each other (nursing school, nursing home, retail, and photography don't always mix well) but a month or so at a time would be so difficult. Sending good thoughts your way!
Ugh. I'm so sorry to hear that. That would be the hardest thing ever and you're stronger than me because I think I'd fall apart completely on day 1. I heard Sanctus Real was here on Monday for our fair and thought of you, but I had no idea he was going to be gone for so, so long! Terrible. :( I hope you guys do well and that the time passes very quickly! Enjoy all the downtime when Miss B is sleeping as much as you can!
Also, I wanted to suggest a book to you! Josh just read Martin Smith from Delirious' book and loved it. He talked a lot in the book about touring and how it affected their family and other things. Then we found out his wife wrote one too! I'd like to read it, but I bet you could glean even more from it! Maybe you could find it and read it while he's gone and she'd have some coping wisdom for you? http://www.amazon.com/Meet-Mrs-Smith-Adventures-Rockstar/dp/1434702030/ref=pd_sim_b1
I'll keep all 3 of you in my thoughts and prayers!
Been thinking about you today! Hope you guys are doing well! You've passed the halfway mark, I think!
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