i have been debating the last week or so if i would write about what i am about to say...the conclusion i have come to is...yes i will. first let me say that i love hearing people's pregnancy/labor stories. they give me hope, joy, excitement, knowledge, and comfort. so knowing that, i realized i need to share the positives and negatives about my pregnancy. it might help someone if they are in the same situation as we are right now. it might help me.
so 2 days after finding out our little one was a girl, i went in for my midwife appointment. i had literally just said goodbye to pete once again for about a week. the band is touring so much right now and only seeing him like 3 days a month is wearing me out. anyways, goodbye pete, hello baby heartbeat. as i am laying down my midwife tells me,
"so we noticed something on the ultrasound."
okay. not sounding good. MY heartbeat starts going about as fast as my little nugs.
"there is a red flag for down syndrome. we are worried about the spacing of her toes."
me with a shaky voice, "okay..."
"so what we can offer you is another ultrasound. this one will be a better pic and more accurate one. we will be able to get a better measurements on her and look at her toes more clearly."
"okay...yes."
she goes to schedule the appt. comes in a little bit later and informs me they can't see me till april 21st. cool. a month to wait. awesome. (sarcastic!) this whole time i am holding in my tears. where is pete? i need him with me...
i leave totally shaken up. get in my car, dial pete, start bawling and try to get out what they just told me. he is obviously so sad but is trying to comfort me.
so you get it....the hardest day.
after talking with pete i called my sister. she was able to comfort me bc she was told from about 6 weeks in her 1st pregnancy much worse. he came out perfect. she assured me that they have to be overly cautious with everything. told me not worry (easier said then done)
i have my good days and i have my bad days. through this all, i have felt so much comfort. comfort from all my friends and family, comfort from prayer. i am so thankful for my God. i am so thankful for prayer. we have so many people praying for us and little bennet. I know God sees all, knows all, is all. He has picked us out to be bennet's mommy and daddy. He chose us. He chose her. I know she is going to be alright. she will be a healthy, perfect little lady no matter what. we love her so much already. i can not wait to meet and kiss her. especially her little toes.
dear bennet,
we love you so much. we are praying for you and your health. so many people are. we are so excited to get to see you again on april 21st. keep kicking around in there :)
so much love,
mommy
5 comments:
I know of many people who have been told this during their pregnancy. I've never been married or pregnant before, so I can't know what you guys are going through, but you are so right. God has got your little girl. I know some people who have a down syndrome baby and he has turned out to be the biggest blessing to them. If that is the case, God has a plan. He chose you guys to be her parents, and I have no doubt you guys will be perfect for her. Praying for you, Pete, and little Bennett.
Praying for you, Pete, and baby Bennet.
oh, melissa, i hate that you had to hear that alone, but you, of course, are not alone! we had a little scare at our ultrasound, too. (everything is fine...just as i am sure everything is perfect with miss bennet.) the worry and uncertainty are definitely not the highlights of pregnancy and motherhood, but good thing we know WHO gives us our hope, and ultimately, peace. we'll be praying for all 3 of you. please call or come by if you need to!
Oh, Melissa, i'd give you a hug right now if I could. You and your's are in my thoughts and prayers. And you are so very right, God did pick you to be Bennet's parents. You will be an amazing mama. xo- tamara
You are exactly right, Melissa. God chose you and Pete to parent this very baby. Try not to worry about the unknowns. God is forming her perfectly.
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