sick

not me. my baby. my baby is sick and it is so sad. my baby is sick with RSV, bronchitis, and ear infections. big, major BOO! i feel so so bad for her. thankfully everything is very mild and we caught it right when it started.

but before i get too far in, let me tell you about THE hardest days of being a momma so far...

a week ago we flew to st louis to spend time with my family. pete was on a cruise in the bahamas...ummm how is that work??! anyways, so instead of sitting around the house feeling sorry for myself that i wasn't enjoying the ocean and beach, we went to see the next best thing...cousins!! & aunties!! & Mimi!!

{playing with aidan}

the flight out there was easy. while getting through security is SOOO much harder w/ a babe and being by yourself, bennet was a doll. she traveled so well. the lady next to me even commented on how she had to be the best traveling baby ever.
we spent the next few days hanging out with cousins and having lots of fun. it was a great trip. then the runny nose started. then the cough. bennet wasn't sleeping as great as she always does (this girl <3's her comfy bed) so add to that a cough and cold...and we were not getting very much sleep. i also was nervous as this was her first cold and her cough just sounded so sad. thankfully i was staying with my sister who has gone through a lot of sicknesses with 2 kids. she helped me a lot and kept me calm. bennet was still acting herself...lots of smiles.
on saturday we had to fly back to see daddy for 2 hours when he had to leave again to fly out to LA for Grammys (woop woop) but we were all so sad we didn't have more time to see each other. i was nervous about flying with b with her having a cold. as we get to the security line...which was long and i was carrying her in the bjorn (which kills my back after awhile). let me just say how awful people are in st louis. no one offered to help me with anything. when i flew out of nashville, everyone was offering help. seriously and they were rude on top of that. whatever. so i get through it finally and get everything put back together. grab some water and walk to the gate. realize somewhere she kicked off a sock. which equals me feeling horrible. thankfully its not as cold as it had been and she didn't seem to mind. as we are sitting at the gate, bennet starts loosing it. and i mean LOOSING it. she has never cried like this before for me. even as an infant. nothing would calm her. 20 mins later, and tons of stare downs by mean people who just glared at me...she falls asleep. so obviously this means she is out of the bjorn and i am cradle holding her. they announce that our flight is boarding. i just had a (freaking heavy) diaper bag and coat and bjorn and sleeping baby to hold and try not to wake up. shouldn't be hard, right? shut up. it was the worse and mind you NOT one person offered to help. keep in mind this whole time i am fighting back tears. i get on the plane after a dbag and his gf cut me off in line...i literally had to jerk to a stop. RUDE. she stays sleeping till i realize i can't get my seat belt buckled. so she wakes up and is up the whole ride. thankfully it is a short flight 45 min. we land. pete picks us up. other things happen that stress me out and i start bawling. i think i cried the whole time we had together.

so yea that was the worst day as a mommy to date. unless you just add in this whole week so far. giving your baby breathing treatments doesn't make you want to celebrate love and hearts. pete and i were so worried (he is still gone and wont be home till sunday) that every time we talked, it was about b. we didn't say happy v day to each other till about 3pm.

a bit of good news is that we are getting a awesome, nice camera for v day! yes! you have NO idea how much i had been wanting one. finally better pics of bennet!

so yea...i am lonely, sad for my baby, tired, exhausted. taking care of a sick baby all by yourself is hard. like really hard.


{how we talk now a days}

ps...the band didn't win the grammy but they had a blast.


{i picked out pete's plaid tie}

and that's an update. a long one. sorry.

m

feeling so proud

today is the day! my amazing husband is at the Grammy Awards!! So hoping and praying that the band wins! Even if they don't though, it is a huge honor for them and I know they will have a fantastic time. Little Bennet and I will be tuning in online to see it. She is sick with her first real cold and cough. i am feeling many emotions today. excited, tired, stressed, sad, lonely, and proud. WOW. i think i just need to relax. my main focus today is comforting my sad, stuffy little babe and cheering on pete.

you can tune in too!

Watch the pre-televised portion online today at 1pm pst (4pm est): http://www.grammy.com/live

Sanctus Real is category #53.

ps...pete is the dapper looking bearded man in a sharp suit with a plaid tie. he is looking mighty fine.

happy friday!

hope your weekend is fabulous! we are gonna spend our saturday just spending lots and lots of time together. filled with tons of snuggles because pete leaves sunday and we won't see him for 2 weeks. :(((
but he is def gonna have an exciting 2 weeks. he is going to the Bahamas on a cruise then out to LA for the Grammys! then playing a few more shows in oregon.
bennet and i are doing some pretty exciting things too to help pass the time quickly. we are flying out to visit my fam in st louis. this will be b first plane ride! eek! i am a little nervous but honestly the flight only is 45 mins long so it won't be too much for either of us.

anyways here are some photos to sum up our week here. enjoy!

a TMI post

*warning if you are of the male persuasion you probably shouldn't read*

since i have experienced the whole pregnancy thing and have a tiny experience with having a baby, here are some things i've learned so far (that NO one filled me in on)

~you can go through 8 months of growing a baby with no stretch marks on your big belly and then in the last month (or so depending on when your little one decides to grace you with their presence) you all of a sudden get purple little *clearsthroatBIG* ugly things on your s t r e t c h e d out belly.

~you can start your . within 5 weeks of delivering your precious bundle. even if your breast feeding. every 2 hours. and you have to go to your 6 week check up while your monthly visit is still around (traumatic for you AND your lady doc, i'm sure) because it decides to last for 10 days. and then not even 2 weeks later it comes around again (2 in 1 month no no NOOOOO) you realize you must be really fertile because you have 6 monthly visits before your babe is 6 months old. awessssome. (fyi-most women who nurse usually don't have their period {yes that is what i mean by "monthly visit" !shock!} for a while *maybe not even till they are done nursing* most people i've talked to it has been around 10 months are so before they realize their almost 2 year break is over....i am a little nah SUPER jealous of you.

~the beast that is HUNGER can overtake you at times. if your nursing you are always hungry...thus making it hard to lose the baby weight.

~your baby grows too too fast! oh wait, everyone says this...but seriously you never understand till it happens in your life.

~your once perking body...well not so perky anymore. seriously everything hangs like elephant ears.

~you are certain you will go bald soon. hair is falling out by the bucket loads!

~never in your life have you ever got excited to see poop (but when your little one hasn't gone in a few days and finally gets a dirty you literally do a happy dance). never have you had to inspect it. your baby's poop tells you a lot thus you must at least glance at the gross pile before disposing.

~speaking of poo, no one every tells you about blow outs. which are both funny and can bring you to tears. since b was about a month old, every time we take her ANYWHERE in her car seat...BLOW OUT!!! the worse time...i was by myself and on my way home from taking her to her 4 month check up (where she had a good size diaper mind you) i decide to run into target. i get the stroller out and pop in the car seat and go inside to browse. 10 min later (a record for me i am sure) i am leaving. i precede to get car seat out and as i am putting it in the base i notice a pile of runny poop. how could this happen?!?! as i drive home (with a completely happy baby because for some reason EVERY time your babe has a gross dirty diaper, she is just as happy as can be. she doesn't freak out like other babies, she just sits in her poop all over her as happy as can be...so weird) i am filled with terror at what awaits me. get home clean up the puddle of poo in the base *its cold and will freeze soon* then go inside, carefully pick baby up and undress her...it went out her diaper around the thigh and leaked out through the seat belt sliver and thus into the base. barely any poo in the diaper. it's pretty much like she took off her diaper and sat in the base to poo. many tears where shed bc obviously it was just one of those days. cleaning the car seat was the hardest thing due to all the little crevasses.


so there you have it. some of the fun things that i've experienced. but like everyone says, it's sooo worth it. and seriously it is. :)



(whooo me??? blow out my diaper?? nahhh)

letter to bennet

oh my dear! i am late writing to you about your 5 month but better late then never! what a month you have had...this year is proving to be busy and awesome. daddy was around a lot more due to the holidays :) unfortunately your first christmas kinda blew. aunt amanda and cousins aidan and owen were super sick the whole time we were visiting in st louis. we didn't get to see them at all. it didn't feel like christmas bc half the family was not there. but we loved seeing your face light up at some of your christmas toys. mimi held you a lot and got some great snuggles in :) you were such a trooper in the car and barely got fussy. it makes that 6 hour drive seem a lot shorter.




{on christmas morning at mimi's}

so far this jan we have traveled with some friends to the mountains where you loved watching the big snowflakes fall from the comfort of our warm cabin. i randomly decided to move you to your crib in your room one night. you love it! you love it so much that after we get done reading books and our nightly routine you just want to be put in there and you drift to sleep quickly. i am sad that you are over being rocked to sleep. although you do allow me to get in some little snuggles and a song before you are over it. this is how you have been since birth. you have set your own schedule for night time and it really has been super easy. you sleep 7pm till 7am. this is awesome. daddy and i fight over who gets to go in to get you up for the day because you are so smiley and excited to see us.
we took you to get a shot at the doctor and you didn't even shed a tear or let out a wail. you just looked at me and smiled. oh how i wish it could always be like this for you! we had you weighted even though it wasn't a normal check up and you are at 15.4 lbs!
your favorite things are bath time (we have a great video of you cracking up at yourself kicking the water) you love sitting up and are doing great! you love reading your books and playing in your jumper. you def prefer to be held and still get angry at floor time and tummy time. this month you only rolled over once...silly girl.
other big things:
*tried rice cereal (ehhh)
*got dedicated
*played with friends and love other babies
*mommy let you watch Super Why and you love it.

i find myself not being able to stop kissing you (whats new there?) and can't believe how you are changing right before my eyes. i barely remember the little baby days. and i am trying to soak up every moment with you! you continue to bring the greatest joy to your daddy and i.

xoxo,
mommy

5 months!

yesterday bennet turned 5 months! here are some pics from her monthly photo shoot. she is such a little model for the camera ;)









{adorable hat by my crafty friend jill}

here is one from her dedication:



as for me, i just set up her room for her to sleep in her crib for the first time tonight not sure how i will do. she will probably do great...me...ehhh. i will probably end up in the rocking chair tonight.

so far...

this year has been great! we traveled to the mountains this past week and stayed in a cabin with some great friends. beautiful view, cozy place, snow, baby cuddles, and good food...what more do you need! such a great time.


{bennet at cabin}

yesterday was a big day in little b's life. she got dedicated at church! it was such a beautiful moment for us.
Deuteronomy 6:4-7
Hear O Israel: The Lord our God is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength. These commandments that i give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Bennet,
we know God has a unique path for you. we pray that we can help you and guide you to follow God and seek Him. we pray that you walk in the abundant life that Christ offers you and that you will grow up to become the unique individual God has planned for you to be. we as your parents vow to provide you a Christian home, filled with God's grace, love and peace, to raise you in the truth of our Lord's instruction and discipline and to encourage you to one day trust Jesus as your Savior.
this was such a beautiful and powerful day. we do not take it lightly. we love you little girl and promise to stay true to the prayers we said yesterday. God loves you and choose you for a purpose. He has big things in store for you and I can't wait to watch you grow in His love.
love,
your mommy and daddy